Thursday, December 11, 2008

Nanna Reindeer


Christmas 1997. Well, there we were. Life, as usual, had twisted us in knots. We were short on money, long on bills, and the holiday was around the corner, nipping at our wallets. That year we had a new miracle in our family. Her name was Talitha Marie and she wasn't old enough to know that she was a miracle.

I watched her being born back in September. My younger daughter and her husband were having tough times so they were living with us… which meant that I got to see Talitha every day. She was nearly three months old and changing almost by the hour.

Back in my more arrogant days, among the many silly things I said, was one particular gem—that none of my children would be allowed to move back in with me once they were on their own. I’ve been forced to eat my words several times. That Christmas both of my daughters were living with us! In any case, I have found that God generally gets what he wills, one way or the other. That June, in a matter of twenty minutes, he simply removed all other options. God was determined to give me a blessing I didn’t want.

Tough times can shrivel the soul. On the outside, I carried on, but on the inside, like the Grinch, my heart was several sizes too small. And then, God sent Talitha into my life. Life was still tough. There was little income and large out-go. But when I came home from work and held my granddaughter, things were okay. I forgot how precious the little children are. I harbored resentments and bitterness because of my own failures with my children. With this tiny baby, I was able at last to forgive myself for my failures and simply allow myself to love her without expectations or conditions. When I watched her young parent's faces when they held her and cared for her, then I knew that I did something right. A miracle. Merry Christmas.

The picture above was taken by Talitha, Christmas 2007. Isn't it strange the things we'll do for our grandkids?

anny

7 comments:

  1. I knew you would break down and show this eventually

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  2. How cute! But then in my current sleep deprived state almost everything is cute and funny. I know one of the things that has started to sink in is how I'm now responsible for this person not just for 18 years, but in a way forever.

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  3. Having teens, I'm holding onto the hope that one day I'll be able to look back and know I did something right.

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  4. It's funny how these things work and over the years I've learned to never say NEVER. We are here for our kids no matter what. In many ways, I probably needed my parents as much when I was grown as when I was a little kid. I'm glad you got that little miracle and she takes great pics, doesn't she?

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  5. That is a terrific photo, Anny! I agree that God sometimes gives us blessings we didn't ask for and sometimes may not recognize as blessings initially ;) Thanks for sharing about one of yours!

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  6. Okay; my comment disappeared! Aren't you a sweet grandma?

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  7. What a great story, Anny. I feel blessed that both my boys and I survived the teen years, and they have morphed into men that I am so proud of. The thought of family get togethers doesn't have them running for the hills, and those quick calls to their grandmother, just to say hi, always have me beaming.

    I have my latest college grad living with us now while he looks for a job, and have really enjoyed learning about the man that I call son. Then I have my Navy son due home for good this month too, and am so glad that our home is the place that they know that they can catch their breath and regroup.

    We all realize that it's not a long term fix, which gives us all patience and let's us just enjoy this time together and be grateful that home still means a place where they are always welcomed with love and support.

    Now if they would just start getting serious about a girl friend so I can look forward to some grandbabies.

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